Cafes and Bookstores
by ZeldaFan64
Summary: Natsu works at a cafe, and he's new to it. Then he meets a girl named Luigi, wait no, Lucy...or so she says. Lucy works at a bookstore, and she likes it there, until she meets him, that pink-haired annoying, perverted bastard that doesn't seem to be leaving her alone. Two people's lives collide, and come on, you have to admit, it's better than Twilight. AU Humor/Romance


**Holy-?!**

**New story?!**

**I can't handle the stories I have already. ;-;**

**But my mind races with all of these ideas, so bear with me**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail...puh-lease, I wish I did...**

**Enjoy ;3**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Welcome to Fairy Tail Cafe**

**Normal POV**

"I'd like a caramel frapuccino, oh, and put extra whipped cream on it please." The girl smiled at Natsu and he stood in a daze.

He's new here.

The crappy apron he's wearing is tight and itchy.

As he scratches the back of his neck, he's staring at this girl like she's an alien.

He doesn't know anything about this place other than the fact that it sells coffee.

This girl is just confusing him. Obviously he's going to tell her.

"Oi, look, I don't know what half of what you said is, I'm new, and I don't know what's on the menu. You wanted some sort of crapuccino or whatever, right?"

The girl grew irritated, "I just want a caramel frapuccino with extra whipped cream."

"English please."

"That was English!"

"Don't worry, I got it written…so, name?"

"Lucy."

"Okay, got it, Luigi right?"

"It's Lucy!"

"Sheesh, could've told me before I wrote it in permanent marker then. I'll just cross that out and now, your name's L. Got it?" He looked to her and waved his marker around.

Lucy hit her palm against her forehead and swiped it over her face in annoyance before uttering a, "Whatever."

He handed the cup to his beloved frenemy so he could make it, then turned back to this girl.

"So why do you want extra whipped cream, do you wanna get fat or something?"

"I'm not fat, and I'm not going to get fat!"

"Your boobs beg to differ", he gestured towards her breasts with his marker, "They practically defy gravity. How much do they weigh? 20? 30 pounds maybe? How do you carry those things on your chest, they're like gigantic melons."

"Pervert!" She yelled and felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

"Anyways, here's your drink. Please don't come back soon, Luigi."

"It's Lucy! Next time I do come back, I hope you at least remember where the bathrooms are, okay?" She gave him a smile that feigned innocence, and turned around to start leaving.

"Bye Luigi." He smirked.

"It's Lucy!" She clenched the cup in her hands and practically threw the door open to leave.

Then it hit the boy.

He did need to find the bathroom in this place.

He's been needing to take a piss for quite some time now.

He turned to leave from behind the counter when he got a good view of Gray's nether regions.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?! PUT THAT AWAY! OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOUR GODDAMN PANTS GRAY?! HOLY, OH MY GOD, NO! I'M BLIND!" Natsu covered his eyes, trying to rid his mind of those scarring images. No wonder there's barely anybody here.

"What do you mea-?" Gray glanced down to find only his apron partially covering him, and his pants were in fact, gone.

"OH MY GOD!" Gray tried to cover himself and he started rampaging around the café. Natsu was trying to not stab his eyes out with one of the nearby straws, seeing as he was getting a great view of Gray's, uh, ass. Because sadly, the apron did not cover your back...

"Have you seen my pants?!" He shook a poor woman as she was trying to read a book, and in her daze she kept shaking her head 'no'.

He ran to several other customers. "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PANTS?!"

If Erza found out about this, they'd be dead, mainly Gray, but Natsu as well because he didn't stop it.

The bell over the door chimed and holy shit.

Speak of the devil.

Erza came in, noticing the customers were all shocked. Some of them failing to sip their coffee as it began spilling onto their pants, and other shaking back and forth in a corner with their eyes closed and ears covered.

"What the hell happened?!" She turned to Natsu as he came back from the backroom with a broom in his hand, trying to not shake under her stare, erm, glare.

He squeezed the handle of the broom to the point of slowly cracking it, as his knuckles began to look pale.

"Well you see, Gray lost his pants…"

"That always happens though." She looked at him curiously.

"This time, his boxers went missing ALONG with his pants.

"What?"

"His boxers-…"

"I heard you…where is Gray?"

"I locked him in the closet…"

"Are his-?"

"No…" His pants were not found yet...

Natsu was about to piss himself.

Because for one, he had not found the bathroom yet.

And two, Erza was starting to make him shiver.

Erza pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "At least you locked him up."

Natsu started to breathe again.

Not realizing he had stopped at all.

"What were you doing when he stripped?"

"I was cleaning…?" He held the broom up shakily.

In all honesty, he didn't give a rat's ass about cleaning, he was just trying to find the bathroom.

"Mhm. Well I'm going to punish Gray. Please refrain from letting this happen. Ever. Again." She shot him a glare and went in the backroom.

Natsu made a cross over his chest and began praying for Gray.

Yup.

There it is.

There's the scream.

That's definitely Gray's scream.

And that, that right there sounded like something smashing.

Most likely, something smashing against Gray.

Erza's battle cry.

Gray's little girl scream again.

'Yup, this is a special café', Natsu thought warily, leaning slightly against the broom in his hand as he glanced at all of the scared customers that were almost frothing at the mouth.

He then glanced at the clock.

"Time for my break." He dropped the broom and jumped over the counter, carefully walking over and around the poor customers.

He turned one last time to look at the café, cringed from Gray's screams and protests, then left.

'Maybe I'll head to the bookstore.'

.

.

.

.

.

_Maybe._

* * *

**Maybe...you can guess what's going to happen if he goes to the bookstore? ;3**

**If you can, try to guess :s**

**If not, then just give me normal feedback, please. ^~^**

**I love feedback, because it makes me update faster...**

**sometimes.**

**Anyways, just please, Follow, Favorite, and Review**

**I'll see you soon**

**Don't trash anything while I'm gone**

**Try not to ship too many people**

**And...**

**Bye!~**

**~ZeldaFan64**


End file.
